“You are me and I am you
I’ll always be with you
You are sun, the rain, and the moonbeams
You are the Divine Goddess of my dreams”
– Shpongle –
East is the direction or aspect of psyche that I have the hardest time understanding, defining, or explaining.
I definitely resonate with the escapist or addict or even blisshead. I’ve abused drugs regularly in the past, I can latch on to any new spiritual ideology that invites me to leave my worries and problems where they are and transcend them, and I avoid having certain types of interpersonal conversations that I feel vulnerable about. These are all actions my fragmented East takes to bring me closer to the divine. Thanks? Actually…Thanks. You are trying your best with what you have.
What is whole East like? Is it the feeling of walking in a meadow in pitch black night while looking at the stars and getting slightly dizzy at the abundance of stars and perceiving the curvature of the Earth? Is it the feeling of looking into the distance in a forest and feeling “tripped out” by the 3D-ness of the surroundings? Is it the epiphany that anxiety can be felt in different parts of the body at various times?
East is elusive and ethereal to me. Maybe it can’t be picked apart into pieces because it would then lack wholeness and unity, its essence.
I have in my notes:
Spiritual love / humbling love:
-brings you to knees in humility
-cuts thru bullshit
When I started writing October 2nd’s entry above, the opening could have said:
I just got off the bus and walked to this spot in the forest. Up until now, I was feeling on edge, about to crack. I hadn’t done my morning meditation yet, so I decided to do it here. I sit down, I start the stopwatch, and immediately tears start rolling down my face. I let it all out now. I’m embraced by the soft, pokey pine needles, the crazy wind, and the sunlight kissing my face and wiping my tears away. This sure feels like the spiritual love that makes me surrender.